Boondocks and Babies
by OwenHarpersGirl
Summary: Connor and Murphy arrive at Doc's with a couple little surprises and need Doc and Rocco's help to figure out what to do. Two-shot. Rated T for swearing
1. Boondocks and Babies

Boondocks and Babies

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**The Boondock Saints**_

Rocco was sat at the bar in McGinty's talking to Doc when the door suddenly swung open to reveal two disheveled Irish twins. Rocco opened his mouth to greet them, but instead gaped at the boys as he realized each of them was holding a squirming bundle in their arms.

"What the fuck are they?" he asked loudly.

"Wha d'they look like genius?" Murphy said. He and Connor walked over and Rocco and Doc could now see the two babies more clearly. They were awake and moving, but were hardly making a peep.

"Y-Y-You boys didn't s-st-st-steal those, did ya?" Doc asked.

"No we di'n't steal 'em!" Connor exclaimed.

"Someone jus' dropped 'em off!" Murphy chimed in.

"Why the fuck did someone give you assholes two babies?" Rocco asked.

"Cause they're Connor's," Murphy said, "Lease, that's what the woman who gave 'em to us said."

"Should've known one of ye would get someone knocked up," Rocco said, "Though, I'm not gonna lie, I always thought it'd be you." He was looking at Murphy as he said and the Irish man scowled at him.

"B-B-Bring 'em here boys," Doc said, "FUCK! ASS!" He walked around the bar and took the infant out of Connor's arms while Murphy kind of forced Rocco into taking the other.

"What ar-are their n-n-na-names?" Doc asked and Connor and Murphy glanced at each other.

"Christ, you don't even know?" Rocco exclaimed.

"We were a lil' preoccupied, tank you!" Connor said.

"Maybe there's sumthin' in 'ere that'll help us," Murphy said, pulling a small bag off his shoulder. "She lef' this with us too."

Connor took it off his brother and opened it, pulling out the few items inside: a couple pairs of baby pajamas, two bottles, a few diapers, and a letter.

"Here we go," Connor said, "Think I've seen something like this in a film or two."

"Jus' shut up and open it," Murphy said, shaking his head. Connor did so and his eyes skimmed the page.

"Their names are Keona and Arya," Connor said.

"Which is which?" Murphy asked.

"Think you're about to find out," Rocco said, pulling a face, "This fuckin' stinks!" He held the baby out to Connor just as the infant started to wail.

Connor took the baby and stared at it, unsure of what to do.

"Don' jus' stand there!" Murphy said, "Do sumthin'!"

"Do what?" Connor asked, wide eyed, "Do any o' ye pricks know how to change a baby?"

"L-L-Lay it over here," Doc said, walking over to one of the tables while still holding the other baby, "One of yet, l-lay down yer coat."

"What? Why?" Murphy asked.

"Can't lay 'em on a h-hard table," Doc explained and Murphy sighed, but shrugged off his jacket nonetheless. He laid it on the table and Connor placed the baby on top it. The child was still wailing, staring up at Connor with wet eyes.

The process of changing the infant - who they discovered was Keona - was a long one. However, eventually, after much struggling on everyone's part, the diaper was finally on and Keona had been laid in Connor's arms.

"So, wh-what are you boys gonna do?" Doc asked.

"No idea," Connor admitted, "We can' get rid 'o 'em. Bloods blood, even if we don' know fer sure yet." Murphy nodded in agreement.

"What d'you two morons know about lookin' after babies?" Rocco asked.

"Not a lot, but we can figure it out," Connor said.

"We're gonna need ta get stuff fer 'em," Murphy piped up, "Clothes and food and toys and stuff."

"Yeah," Connor said absently and then looked at his brother, "Why don' you and Roc do tha'?"

"Why am I gettin' dragged into this?' Rocco asked.

"Cause it'll be easier if two stay here and two go," Connor said, "I'm stayin' with 'em and Doc seems to be the only one who knows what he's doin' so that leaves you and Murph." Rocco looked like he was about to protest, but Connor gave him a pleading look.

"Fine," he relented, handing Arya to Doc. He and Murphy slipped their coats on and walked out the door to try and find the nearest baby shop in Boston.

**So this is my first **_**Boondock Saints**_** fanfic. I hope it was alright, I tried really hard to get the accents right, but I've never written an Irish accent before so that was both a struggle and a very interesting thing to do. I've also never written a stutter and was really worried I would mess it up so I apologize if Doc's dialogue is really bad!**

**I've also never written so much cursing in one fanfic before.**

**There will be a second part to this story and it's a bit of an introduction for a possible longer story I may do if this one is alright.**

**Thanks so much for reading and let me know what you think!**


	2. Four Men, Two Babies

Four Men, Two Babies

"How the fuck are Murph and I supposed ta take care o' two kids? Two babies?' Connor murmured to himself.

"Ye boys'll figure it out," Doc said, sitting next to Connor, "Ye said so yerself."

Connor nodded slowly, but didn't say anything. He and Murphy could barely look after themselves, add two babies to the mix? Babies need clothes and formula and diapers. He and Murphy could go a couple days without eating if they really had to, and if they got desperate they could go to Doc or Rocco. Keona and Arya were his responsibility.

"Ye boys'll be fine," Doc said, "An' if ye need help- FUCK! ASS!"

Connor nodded again, looking up at the older man and smiled slightly, wondering how his brother and Rocco were getting on at the shop.

MACMANUSMACMANUSMACMANUSMACMANUSMACMANUSMACMANUS

Murphy stared at the rows and rows of diapers on the shelves with wide eyes. He had no idea what to get.

"Did the letter say how old they were?" Rocco asked, looking equally as lost. Murphy pulled the letter out of his pocket and scanned over the page.

"Hi, can I help you boys find something?"

"Two months," Murphy said and the sales woman looked at him in confusion.

"Sorry?" she said.

"Um... my niece and nephew, they're two months," he said sheepishly.

"Oh! Okay, um, what are you looking to get for them?" she asked.

"Ah... everything," he said and once again she looked confused.

"They're two months and they don't have... anything?" she asked. Murphy opened and closed his mouth several times before Rocco pulled the girl aside. He spoke quietly to her for a few minutes and her eyes widened in shock.

"I understand, wait here." She walked away.

"Wha did'ja tell 'er?" Murphy asked.

"I told her your sister-in-law had just died in a tragic accident that had also cost her and your brother their home and possessions. So, you're brother and his two kids n moved in with you. But he's still grieving and it's a struggling for him to get things done sometimes so you decided to help him out by buying all the things his children would need."

"Yer insane," Murphy said.

"It worked, didn't it?" Rocco whispered as the girl came back, carrying two baskets. She handed them to Murphy and Rocco and began throwing different sized diapers in, explaining everything as she went. Bottle and formula and creams and blankets. Murphy didn't understand how two small people needed so much stuff. Finally, they reached the clothes.

"I'll take the rest of your stuff up tot he register while you guys pick clothes. Everything is sorted by age, so I would look for stuff that'll fit in a few months too."

Rocco and Murphy nodded and she walked off, leaving them to look through the racks of baby clothes. They ended up filling another basket and Murphy didn't see how they'd need all this, but at least his niece and nephew would have enough clothes for the next year. They took the basket up to the front and the girl started to ring everything through. Murphy's eyes widened at the price so the girl punched in a code and the price dropped significantly.

"Employee discount," she said, smiling gently at him.

"Thanks," Murphy mumbled, pulling out all his money. Rocco pulled some out too and between them they managed to pay for it all. Now it was just a matter of getting it all back to Doc's. They had got a crib and a stroller too and somehow had to carry it all back. Murphy tried to imagine him or Connor pushing a stroller around Boston and laughed quietly to himself at the thought as he piled bags onto his arms. Rocco did the same and then picked up the crib box while Murphy grabbed the one with the stroller. They thanks the girl who had helped them and then slowly made their way outside and back to Doc's.

MACMANUSMACMANUSMACMANUSMACMANUSMACMANUSMACMANUS

Back at the bar, Connor was pacing back and forth, a wailing Arya in his arms.

"Why won't you stop crying?" Connor asked desperately.

"Maybe she's hungry," Murphy said as he and Rocco walked back in. Connor sighed in relief.

"D-D-Did ye boys clears out th-the whole shop?" Doc asked, looking at the many bags and boxed the boys carried.

"Some girl who worked there helped us with it all," Murphy said, "Even let us use her employee discount on this shit."

"I'll ya both back," Connor said and both Murphy and Rocco looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"Look, just don't ever make me help change 'em again and we're good," Rocco said and Connor laughed, nodding. Murphy dug through one of the bags and pulled out a bottle and some formula.

"Do we just pour it in the bottle?" he asked. The four men exchanged looks. It would be a long road, but somehow, they'd figure it all out. They just hoped no one walked in and saw that it took four grown adults to figure out how to bottle feed two babies.

**Alright, so I might add another drabble to this. If I do upload a third part it would probably be a bit more brotherly fluff between Murphy and Connor.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this and thanks so much for reading! Let me know what you think!**


	3. They'll Be Fine Wit' Us

They'll be Fine Wit' Us

**Warning for MacManus swears**

Connor and Murphy laid on their mattresses in their relatively dark apartment. They had gotten back from Doc's two hours before and were now lying in silence. Rocco and Doc had helped them get all their stuff back to their place and then left the twins to it.

The first thing Connor and Murphy had done was put the crib together. That had taken much longer than anticipated and they had only just finished five minutes ago. The twins had been put in it and were now fast asleep. Now they were lying there, wide awake, and thinking about how drastically everything had changed in the past several hours.

"Hey Murph?" Connor whispered.

"Aye?" Murphy whispered back.

"Tomorrow... Tomorrow I'm gonna try an' find a place fer me an' the twins ta life," Connor said.

"Wha'? Murphy shot up and stared at him brother with wide eyes, "Wha' d'ya mean?"

"Well we can't exactly stay 'ere, can we?" Connor said.

"Why the fuck not?" Murphy exclaimed and Connor hushed. him. They both looked over at the crib with bated breath, but Keona and Arya stayed sleeping.

"Why can't ya stay 'ere?" Murphy asked, quieter this time.

"Murph, I found out today I've got two kids," Connor said, as if that explained anything.

"Yeah, an I got a niece an' nephew today," Murphy said, "The hell's that got ta do wit' ye leavin'?"

"Well I can't stay 'ere wit' 'em," Connor said.

"Again, I ask, why the fuck not?"

"Murph, they're babies," Connor said, "They cry at all hours an' they need ta be changed and fed and taken care of all the time and they're expensive-"

"So?" Murphy challenged, staring at his brother.

"So tha' ain't fair fer ye ta have ta deal wit' all tha'," Connor said and Murphy gave his brother and incredulous look.

"Yer bloody jokin' right?" he said, "Ye seriously think yer gonna leave? Take my niece and nephew an' go? I know babies cry and shit an' need food that costs more than we make. But what makes ye think it'll be easier on yer own?"

"Murph-"

"No, shut up Con, Murphy said, "Yer stayin'. You an' me are gonna take care o' Arya and Keona. They'll be fine wit' us."

Connor stared at his brother for a moment before he nodded once.

"Thanks Murph."

"Now, let's get some sleep 'fore they wake up."

The two boys laid down and closed their eyes just as a shrill cry pierced the air.

**Alright, so I decided I wanted to add some brotherly fluff to this and it is now complete! Thanks so much for reading and let me know what you think!**


End file.
